Red Hot Cougar Massage and Way More! :-)

You must be at least 18 years of age to view this website.  If you are not at least 18, you must leave now.


Hi!  My name is Lana.
I weigh 122 lb, with hazel eyes and medium length brown hair.  My measurements are 38B-28-38.
Everyone wants to know my age.  I am a mature escort with the body of a 21-year old. 
Let my hands caress you from top to toe. Then, I turn you over and massage your front. Enjoy my skill and experience.

For Red Hot Cougar Massage and WAY MORE, please CALL Lana at 902-209-6852 from 10am-10pm daily.

Enjoy in-service at my apartment near downtown Dartmouth OR out-service to your home or hotel.
Open 10am-10pm daily. Call 902-209-6852
If I do not answer right away, please try again in 5 minutes or leave a message.  I need at least half an hour's notice if I'm not booked or an hour's notice if I AM booked.  Please do not call me on a cordless phone or a speakerphone.  These devices cause an echo on the phone. 
Please have a pen and paper handy when you call to make your appointment so that I can give you my street address, my apartment # and my door code.   




In-Service Rates (all rates include Full Service)
A)  Half hour Quickie:  good for those on the run or just wanting to get their feet wet ... $100.
B) The Relaxing Hour: ideal for those who appreciate the good things in life ... only $150.
C) Ninety minutes ... $180.  Unrushed.  You get pampered and pleased, not once, but twice.  This is by far, the most popular  choice! 
P.S.  The above rates are for in-service.  Out-service to your home or hotel costs a little extra for my transportation, depending on where you are!)


"You're definitely good at what you do. 
There's amateurs, and then there's Lana."
"Your massage relaxed me so much, I know I will be able to face my awful work week ahead. The full service was awesome."
"You are my Hawaii."
"You are a little miracle worker."
"If I had known it was going to be this relaxing, I would have called you two years ago."
"I didn't want to leave."
"Good experience.  Thank you."
"That was fricking amazing!"
"I had my fantasy fulfilled :-) "
"Whatever you're doing to make your body look like this, keep doing it!"
"Just what the doctor ordered."
"Beautiful women turn me on ... and you are so pretty!"
"I'm having you back.  You give good service."
"You know how to make a man feel like a man."
"I will highly recommend you."
"Top notch.  Very professional."
"Excellent service.  Money well spent."
"I love it how tight you are."
"We'll have to do this again.  I was very pleased." 
"With your body and personality, you could be doing this another 30 years."
"You're the only one I trust." 


Would you like a discount? 
Get 10% OFF the Hour or the 90-minute session up until August 31, 2015 between 10 am and 5 pm daily.
This brings your hour from $150 down to $135.
This brings your 90 minutes from $180 down to $162.
Or, you can take advantage of my 20% OFF Sale, between 10 am and 5 pm daily!  To qualify for the 20% discount, you must answer a skill-testing question.  The skill-testing question is:  "What is the Joke of the Day?"
Get 20% OFF the Hour or the 90-minute session up until August 31, 2015.
This brings your hour from $150 down to $120.
This brings your 90 minutes from $180 down to $144.
Sale Ends August 31, 2015!
(Discount applies to in-service only.  In-service means that you come to see me.  Regular rates apply after 5 pm until 10 pm.
To find the Joke of the Day, scroll down to the bottom of this page and join where you can Get a Joke a Day delivered to your email inbox.)
I look forward to meeting you and delighting you with my charms.   - Lana


Send me an email to or just click here!



"Have you ever tried Pine Pollen for Morning Wood?  Pine Pollen boosts a man's testosterone naturally.  It is not expensive.   Click Here."  - Lana

  • This is what Pine Pollen does:
  • Hormonal Support
  • Strengthens the Immune System
  • Great Brain Food
  • Balances Androgenic and Estrogenic Hormones
  • Supports and Detoxifies the Liver
  • Great for the Skin and Hair
  • Protects the Cardiovascular System
  • May Reduce Cholesterol
  • Regulates Weight by Supporting the Metabolism
  • Increases Energy and Vitality
  • Aphrodisiac
  • Increases Glutathione (the Body’s Master Antioxidant)
  • Optimizes Breast Health in Women and Prostate Health in Men
  • Improves Endurance
  • Supports a Healthy Sex Life
  • May Reduce Pain
  • Helps with a Hangover
  • Helps Arthritis
  • Antioxidant and Anti-Inflammatory
  • Decreases DNA Mutation


Enemy Ships On The Horizon

A ship is out to sea, when suddenly the watchman says, "Captain, there's an enemy ship on the horizon!"

The Captain says, "Bring me my red shirt." The First Mate brings him his red shirt. A few minutes later, a battle ensues with the enemy ship, and the captain and crew defeated the enemy ship.

The next morning, the First Mate says, "Captain, you are so brave; but why did you want your red shirt?" The captain replies, "That way if I get shot, the crew will not see the blood, and they will keep on fighting."

Suddenly, the watchman shouts, "Captain, there are 20 enemy ships on the horizon!"

The Captain screams, "Bring me my brown pants!"

Could This $10 a Month Home Biz Be The Answer You Have Been Looking For:

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Proverbs 17:22
Laughing all the Way to the Bank!
funnyBiz Distributor

Get Paid to Laugh & Share! Click Here.





Enjoy my Discrete location near Downtown Dartmouth.  It's easy to find and there's LOTS of FREE Parking!



Grant Them Each One Wish

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary.

During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and POOF! The wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.

Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish my wife was 30 years younger than me."

So the fairy picked up her wand and POOF! The husband was 90.